'It sort of just spiralled and I was in denial' - Former Australia skipper Meg Lanning reveals reasons behind international retirement

Meg Lanning, the legendary Australian cricket captain, has finally broken her silence on the personal challenges that led to her shocking retirement from international cricket at the age of 31.

In a recent interview, Lanning shed light on her private battles with an unhealthy relationship with exercise and food. A struggle that even her closest teammates were unaware of, which eventually resulted her in stepping away from the game. Lanning, a self-described private person, had taken a six-month break from cricket following the Commonwealth Games in 2022, using the time to travel and work in a coffee shop.

Thereafter, she returned to lead Australia to a T20 World Cup title in February 2023 but suddenly pulled out of last year's Ashes series for undisclosed medical reasons. Meg Lanning opened up about the identity crisis she faced outside of cricket, which not even her teammates and closest friends knew about. 

"It sort of just spiralled and I was in denial, even though everyone kept telling me something wasn't quite right. I was not in a place to be able to go on tour and play cricket and give the commitment levels required for that Ashes series, mentally and physically," the former Australia skipper and legend said on The Howie Games podcast.

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I got down to about 57kgs from 64kgs: Meg Lanning

Meg Lanning's obsession with exercise and control over her diet took a toll, as she slipped to just 57 kilograms from her usual 64 kilograms weight. Consequently, this affected her concentration and ability to engage with friends and family. Notably, despite her struggles, Lanning was still able to perform on the field, leading Australia to victory in two tense T20 World Cup finals.

"I got down to about 57kgs from 64kgs. The ratios were out of whack a lot. I did not realize (it affected) my ability to concentrate. It was just all out of whack and I kept sliding. At some point, it's got to stop, “ the eight-time world champion added.

"It was a bit of my coping mechanism, I'd love just chucking the headphones in and going for a run. I could escape mentally. I'd throw the headphones and I wouldn't take my phone with me. I dreaded nighttime because I knew I would go to bed and not be able to sleep. That would make me so mad," Lanning continued in the podcast.

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Besides, the 32-year-old even opened up about her future plans after retiring from the game. Interestingly, Lanning spilt the beans on her love for coffee apart from being in love with the sport. In a surprising reveal, the Australian legend expressed her desire to own a coffee shop someday.

"I love sport, so the sport will be involved in the next step. I love coffee, I do have this one vision of maybe one day owning my coffee shop," Lanning concluded.