Satire: How QuinTON de Kock missed out on a double century

When Australia set South Africa a target of 295 runs to chase, everyone thought it will prove to be a daunting task for the home side especially in the absence of Hashim Amla and AB de Villiers from their batting order but their young batting star Quinton de Kock had other plans. In an inning totally ironical to his baby-looking face, he thrashed the inexperienced Australian attack all over the park.

He was so brutal that he made Steve Smith looked more helpless than MS Dhoni ever was because of his toothless bowlers. De Kock was so brutal that after the game, Australian fast bowler, Daniel Worrall who was making his international debut in the game was overheard saying that he wants to go back to Australia to pursue Engineering according to his father’s wish and is done with his dream of playing international cricket.

Quinton de Kock was scoring runs at a speed of a tracer bullet (that’s how Ravi Shastri would describe it) and even though the target was only of 295, he stood a good chance of notching up the first double hundred in ODI cricket in a run chase. As soon as he realized it, he started hitting Adam Zampa as hard as the Titanic hit the iceberg. He struck him for three consecutive sixes.

His batting partner and skipper for the game, Faf du Plessis did not seem happy with this. He told de Kock that cricket is a team game and he should allow his captain to score some runs as well. But de Kock did not listen and the first ball he faced in the next over was deposited for a six.

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Instead of sparing some runs for his young batting partner to reach his double ton, du Plessis started to take singles. When de Kock asked him about why he is constantly churning out singles when the game is already in their pocket, du Plessis reminded him about the tri-series South Africa featured in 2014 along with Australia and Zimbabwe. He reminded him about his 3 back to back tons in the series and how he was on the verge of becoming the first batsman to score 4 ODI hundreds in a row but could not reach the landmark because of AB de Villiers.

Their conversation was recorded in the stump mic: “Look, kid, what you want me to do for you now? AB could have done the same to me 2 years ago. But he did not slow down for my hundred and I see no reason to slow down for you. Moreover, I am just taking singles whereas AB was smashing the bowlers for boundaries that day. That game was also against Australia and de Villiers was the captain in that game. Now I am the captain and I am treating you the same way. History is repeating itself here and you better respect it.”

De Kock was left with cold feet after Faf’s explanation. He didn’t say a word in front of his captain after that and could not deny singles whenever Faf called for one. But soon when Faf chopped a ball onto his stumps trying to steal another single, Quinton had a big beaming smile on his face. Umpire Joel Wilson told the press that he has never seen any batsman smile so gleefully at the dismissal of his own captain.

Faf was replaced by JP Duminy and as soon as he walked into bat, de Kock and probably requested Duminy to spare the remaining runs for him. Duminy started with a couple of dot balls to make de Kock feel at ease but soon struck a couple of boundaries to vanish all his hopes of scoring a milestone double hundred. Soon, Duminy got out for 9 in an attempt to hit a six.

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De Kock had earlier kept the stumps for 50 overs in the first innings and then batted for 33.4 overs during the chase. As soon as he realized that a double hundred is far within the reach due to JP’s sweet little innings, he too got out playing a cranky pull shot and walked back to the pavilion to stay fresh to receive the man-of-the-match award in the presentation ceremony.

In the ceremony when de Kock was asked whether he was thinking about a double hundred or not, he said it was always on his mind after he got to his 150 but did not say anything against his captain Faf du Plessis (since he is the captain for the rest of the series). On being asked about JP Duminy, he replied: “I told JP that he is going through a bad patch as a batsman and he should focus on staying unbeaten till the end with me instead of scoring runs and robbing me off a chance to be the first South African to score a double century. But some people don’t desire any respect and as a result, he got out for a mainstream single-digit score instead of a respectful unbeaten knock to help out a brother.”

Disclaimer: It is a satire post and all the characters, story, content is work of fiction and meant for entertainment purpose only.

Written by Shubham Aggarwal