My career should have stopped after Phillip Hughes' demise: Michael Clarke

Former Australian captain Michael Clarke feels he should have retired from cricket in 2014 instead of calling it a day a year later. Clarke admitted that he found it hard to cope with the death of Phillip Hughes, who died from bleeding in the brain after being hit on the neck by a bouncer during a domestic match at the Sydney Cricket Ground in November 2014.

Clarke was the pallbearer at Hughes’ funeral and he delivered an emotional narration on his bond with the late cricketer. Clarke also admitted that for the first time he feared for the first time while playing cricket. Clarke went on to score a hundred against India in the Test series and dedicated it to his ‘little brother’.

“I shouldn’t have played another game. My career should have stopped then. It was too hard for me,” Clarke told The Weekly Review on Thursday.“It took me a lot longer to grieve his loss than it should have, or that I would have liked. I didn’t allow myself to grieve at the time because I had responsibility to his family, firstly, but then also as Australia’s cricket captain to my teammates and getting us back out onto the field.”

On the tour to West Indies in 2015

Clarke also said that touring West Indies in 2015 was a mistake. “Going to the West Indies was probably the worst tour of my life in regards to how emotional I was. I was there on my own. Unfortunately, Kyly (his wife) couldn’t come because she was pregnant and we weren’t comfortable with her flying.” Clarke added.

“I had six weeks in the West Indies … whatever we had on as a team during the day I would go back to my room every night and just cry myself to sleep.” Clarke said that he still feels broken at times. “I still have days regularly where it’s heart-breaking. It’s still raw … the emotion and pain is still there.”