'Genuinely should not be here with what happened'- Andrew Flintoff reveals mental and physical trauma of Top Gear accident

Former England all-rounder Andrew Flintoff has broken his silence about the harrowing Top Gear crash in December 2022 that left him with severe physical and mental scars. On his new BBC show "Freddie Flintoff's Field of Dreams," the former cricketer shared his ongoing struggle to recover from the incident.

Flintoff, a loved figure in sports and entertainment, suffered a high-speed car crash while filming for Top Gear. The accident resulted in multiple facial surgeries and a prolonged period of recovery, during which he disappeared from the public eye. The show was filmed just three weeks after the crash, and Flintoff expressed his disbelief at surviving.

"I genuinely should not be here with what happened. It's going to be a long road back, and I'm only just starting. I've got to look at the positives don't I? I'm still here. I've got another chance, I've got to go at it. I'm seeing how it is – a second go," he said.

Also read: Andrew Flintoff to replace Matthew Mott as new England white-ball coach

Struggle with anxiety, I have nightmares, I have flashbacks: Andrew Flintoff

The physical toll of the accident is evident, with Flintoff revealing that he wears a full face mask and glasses whenever he goes out. However, the mental impact has been equally devastating. 

"As much as I've wanted to go out and do things, I've just not been able to ... Everywhere I go at the moment, I've got a full face mask and glasses on. I struggle with anxiety, I have nightmares, I have flashbacks. It's been so hard to cope with. But I'm thinking if I don't do something, I'm never going to go. I've got to get on with it," he added.

Despite his desire to shake it off, the former admitted the recovery process has been far more difficult than anticipated. 

"I thought I could just shake it off. I wanted to shake it off and say, 'here am I, I'm alright', but it's not been the case. It's been a lot harder than I thought," he further added.

Also read: Andrew Flintoff opens up about his horrific Top Gear accident

When asked by one of his cricket students if he was feeling 100 percent, Flintoff's response was the sad truth. He knows that the scars and injuries will be there with him throughout his life. 

"Not really. I don't know if I will again, to be honest... I don't know what 'completely better' is. I am what I am now. I'm different to what i was. It's something that I'll probably have to deal with for the rest of my life. Better? No. Different," he said.