SH*T News of the day: Qualification scenarios for IPL playoffs confuses teams

The ongoing IPL season has been nearing the end of the league phase. With just 5 matches left, 3 spots are still up for grabs among 4 teams. Kings XI Punjab have made sure they stay in the reckoning for playoffs with a win over table toppers Mumbai Indians.

As SH*T News confirms, various statisticians conducted a board meeting to find out the qualification scenarios, they came up with 100 possible situations through their mathematical calculations. Even IPL authorities have been puzzled about the current situation.

SH*T News sources learnt various reactions from different camps after having a look at the various permutations and combinations to make it to the playoffs. RPS captain Steve Smith reportedly suffered from a brain fade while Imran Tahir ran away and disappeared into thin air before SH*T News could get any reaction.

From the KKR camp, Gautam Gambhir rubbished it and told his team plays to win, not to qualify for playoffs. When team owner SRK was contacted regarding the same, he said he regretted not paying attention in maths classes in his childhood.

Shikhar Dhawan was confused as he twirled his moustache while checking out the scenarios. Later, the page was found in the dustbin. When Yuvraj Singh was asked his views, he refrained from commenting. However, Yograj Singh was quick to point out that it was MS Dhoni trying to mess around by making tough calculations so that his son’s team doesn’t make it.

As for the Kings XI Punjab, Glenn Maxwell didn’t care much about the calculations as he enjoyed his Lassi. On the other hand, Virender Sehwag remarked his eyesight deteriorated further after trying to read and understand them.

As our SH*T sources asked someone from the Kings XI Punjab management the motivation that was driving the team in the end phases, he said, ‘Preity ma’am has made it clear that if the team fails to qualify for the playoffs, she’ll make us watch Jhoom Barabar Jhoom and Ishkq in Paris. This has united the team members who are now leaving no stone unturned in their performances.’

Stay tuned for more updates from SH*T news.

Disclaimer: All the characters, story, content is work of fiction and meant for entertainment purpose only.