'I was on that edge but I walked back' - Sreesanth reveals Sushant Singh Rajput's suicide affected him a lot

Bollywood actor Sushant Singh Rajput killing himself has affected many people including the cricketers and the celebrities. He passed away on June 14 in his Bandra residence and some of his prominent names from the industry and the cricketing fraternity are yet to come to the terms with the fact. India cricketer Sreesanth is one of those and has revealed that Sushant’s death has affected him so much.

Sreesanth’s cricketing career came to a screeching halt after police arrested him during the 2013 edition of the Indian Premier League (IPL) for allegedly spot-fixing the matches. Though the charges on him were removed later with no substantial evidence against him, the BCCI didn’t relax the life ban on him. It was only recently that his life ban was removed and it is set to end in September this year.

Recalling the tough times of his career, Sreesanth, while speaking to Deccan Chronicle, stated that he battled depression a lot especially in 2013. The 37-year-old also said that the thoughts of suicide crossed his mind a lot of times but he would stop thinking about his family who were always there for him. This is the same reason why Sushant’s death has affected the cricketer so much as he has come back from that stage.

“I was Sreesanth to the world and Gopu to the family, but in my room, I didn’t know what I was. That’s why I started discovering hobbies and working on them with a lot of seriousness. It is something I battled with incessantly in 2013. It was there everywhere I turned, the easy way out, but my family kept me sane. I had to stick around for my family. I knew they needed me.

“That’s why the news of Sushant Singh’s (Rajput) death affected me so much, besides the fact that he was a good friend. I was on that edge but I walked back because I knew how much it would hurt those who believe in me and love me,” he said.

I was crying all the time, says Sreesanth

Delving further into the past, Sreesanth added that he had to smile in front of his parents but deep inside he didn’t know what was going in his life. He used to just cry all the time in his room and the situation was tough for him to handle. “You know I was scared of the dark at one point. I couldn’t step out of the house and I didn’t let anyone step out of the house because I feared that I/ they would get kidnapped. I was in a deep depression at the time.

“I had all these thoughts in my room but I couldn’t leave my room without a smile on my face because my parents would not have been able to handle it. I didn’t want to show my weakness to them. I was completely on my own in these moments, I was crying all the time trying to figure out where I went wrong and what happened to me. I was living this dual life and it was too much to handle,” the Kerala fast bowler further said.