SH*T NEWS OF THE DAY: England players plot against KL Rahul

English players try to make amends after KL Rahul's exploits in the first game

KL Rahul of India
KL Rahul of India celebrates reaching his century. (Photo by Gareth Copley/Getty Images)

In the first T20 International, KL Rahul went on to hit a fascinating century to secure a victory for India. The innings was so brutal that the English bowlers could be seen shivering in the ground. The Old Trafford had more Indian fans than the total number of people who stood in line for demonetization. In fact, the 10 England fans who turned up to watch the game were going to return halfway after watching their bowlers being mistreated. In a bid to avoid such a situation, the ECB provided them free WIFI so that they could watch the live streaming of the Fifa World Cup in the stadium.

However, according to the latest developments from SH*T NEWS, there has been a serious discussion in the England dressing room after the loss. A ploy is hatched to get Rahul out early in the upcoming games. David Willey thought it would be a good idea to sledge and distract him. He changed his mind after watching Yuvraj Singh’s six sixes.

Ben Stokes and Jonny Bairstow aiming to get under Rahul’s skin

Ben Stokes felt they could spill jelly beans near the crease and irritate him. England Director Andrew Strauss suddenly recounted some horror dreams where he saw Zaheer Khan running behind him with the bat. Hence, he decided to not take any chances and rejected it.

Some team members were of the view that England could bowl better. Liam Plunkett intervened that he was even smashing the good ones for boundaries. Jonny Bairstow felt they could surprise Rahul by bowling poorly or even recall Jade Dernbach as an accessory. Finally, it was Alex Hales who came up with a splendid plan to stop Rahul. He planned to leave a banana skin at the crease so that they can affect a runout.

It was also reported that after the decision, there was a huge applause in the English dressing room for Hales. Skipper Eoin Morgan reminded the team that there were ten other batsmen to be dismissed but the celebrations were too noisy as England had won the pre-quarters at the FIFA World Cup. When star batsman Joe Root was asked about any such plans he told, “Jadd se ukhaad denge Rahul ko”. Meanwhile, Amitabh Bachchan feels that England commentators are biased towards their players. Stay tuned for more updates from SH*T news.

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