Monty Panesar expresses his desire to play for England again

Monty Panesar is not the same man as he was a couple of years ago. Struggling with depression, having well-documented health problems and after being involved in a fall out with the selectors, his England career wasn’t only under the risk of ending prematurely but also having a stigma attached to it.

The left-arm spinner has gone through a refreshing and rehabilitating journey down under in Australia this winter under the advice of the Northamptonshire Coach David Ripley. The primary reason for his southern summer was to get some revolution for his troublesome left shoulder (in another bid to rouse his dormant elite-level career) playing grade cricket and coaching youngsters at Campbelltown-Camden just outside Sydney.

He has also trained with the Big Bash team Sydney Thunder. In Brisbane, he was also seen assisting young Australian batsman Matt Renshaw and spinner Steve O’Keefe preparing for their tough grind in India. Panesar was instrumental in helping England to a series win in 2012 and was dearly missed this time around as England capitulated 0-4.

Speaking of the disappointing tour, Panesar said, “‘Man, I’ve missed out on such a valuable opportunity because I couldn’t get myself fit.’ Another tour missed. That makes you a bit sad, and then you think: ‘I’m switching it off, not watching’. It’s out of my hands. If I had been fit I would have had a chance. I want to make sure I get my shoulder right, get fit, all that stuff. It’s frustrating, but you have to move away from that.”

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Now, in a much happier state of mind, Panesar spoke of his ambitions in future to play for England. “I don’t know what it is,” he says, of his desire to play international cricket again. “It’s like I’m taking a drug for it. Some days my body aches and hurts, and I still get up and go to the gym in the hope of getting back. It’s just in me. I’ve got to do it, I just want to play for England again. I will keep going until … I don’t know … Until I can’t do any more. I will keep fighting to get there. I feel like I have that fizz and energy back, and the coaching is helping.”

In addition to expressing how he is enjoying his new coaching stint, Panesar also talked about the new changes to his lifestyle, in order to combat depression and prevent his over dependence on pills.

“We’ve all worked together to create activities which will substitute the medication,” he says. “Stuff like yoga, mindfulness, fitness, a bit of hypnotherapy. And now I feel really great in that regard. Sometimes it’s just as simple as going away and doing a physical activity, or going and having a conversation with a person you trust. The medication is good for a while but I don’t think long term it’s a good thing – it makes you a bit more down, like you’re in a box. You don’t feel yourself.”

The 34-year-old spinner last represented England in 2013, since falling out of favour with the selectors. He managed to pick 167 scalps to become of one of the most successful English spinners in the 50 matches that he played.

Though making a comeback at this age seems highly improbable as it is, Panesar isn’t helped by the fact that his fielding prowess is under par, and there is a multitude of younger, and fitter options available. However, watching Gareth Batty play Test cricket at 39, gives him a glimmer of hope.